


Don't You Know That I Belong Arm In Arm With You

by Tadfish



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Bruiseshipping, Cuddles, First Kiss, Fluff, Insecurity, M/M, This is literally so self indulgent, arospec main character, but so is cole, i may be touch starved, the intimacy and vulnerability of human contact
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29257887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tadfish/pseuds/Tadfish
Summary: Cole learns how to give and recieve physical affection through Jay's help.
Relationships: Cole & Jay Walker (Ninjago), Cole/Jay Walker
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	Don't You Know That I Belong Arm In Arm With You

Cole had known for a long time that he was... different. Different from the other ninja, at least. It felt like everyone around him somehow just, felt things about other people that he'd never experienced before. He thought at first that maybe it was just because he was gay, but over time he learned that wasn't the case- after all, Jay and Kai were both bi, and Zane was gay just like he was. Well, not exactly like he was. Zane seemed to fall in love so easily, but Cole wasn't sure if he ever had. 

Cole had grown up pretty used to physical touch. It was part of his dancer education, especially since, as the strongest in the class, he usually handled the lifts. Getting used to touching people and being touched was necessary. After he left, though, all that contact got cut off. It's not like Wu was handing out hugs, and once the other ninja arrived most of their physicality was expressed through combat training. Cole hadn't realized how much he missed it until, after a long day of training, Jay plopped down on the couch next to him while he was playing video games, and for the first time that customary few inches of space between them was breached by him leaning over and resting his head on Cole's shoulder. Cole felt himself tense up. It became suddenly impossible for him to focus on the game. It felt like there was some unspoken rule being broken. And then... he slowly let the tension out of his muscles, along with a breath of air. He relaxed into the touch, smiling. Still utterly distracted, though, it didn't take long for him to game over, and the moment he did Jay's head shot up, "My turn!" he said excitedly as he took the controller from Cole's hands. 

"Hey!" but he didn't resist. The spot where Jay's head had been felt cold, now. Why did he feel so disappointed? What had just happened? 

Over the next few months, the ninjas began getting more and more used to casual physical touch. It was really Jay who did the work to make that happen; Kai was too standoffish, Zane didn't seem to particularly care, and despite how much Cole needed it, he found it difficult to initiate and he couldn't figure out why. 

It was easiest when there was a reason for it. Picking up Kai was easy because it was as much a way to make fun of him for being short as it was anything else, and him getting mad about it was funny. It was fun to lean his full weight on Zane while he was thinking to catch him off guard. Catching Jay in a headlock when they were arguing over who would get to eat the last pudding cup came naturally. 

Other things were harder, anything more casual or more serious. It felt like there was a line he could cross and he didn't know where it was. When was it okay to hug someone? To sit so close you were touching? He often found himself wanting to hold hands but he was sure that one wasn't okay, he'd never seen any of his friends do it. He wasn't sure what the consequence for messing up was but the thought of it made his chest feel tight. 

Still, Jay was at least picking up his slack on that end. Jay was so, for lack of a better word, cuddly? It seemed like whenever he was around someone he was in contact with them, be it an arm around their shoulder, a hug, leaning on them, laying on them, you name it. It always seemed so easy for him, and it was happening with Cole more and more as the two of them spent more and more time alone together. Snacking, gaming, drawing- Jay was his best friend and it seemed like with this new cuddling thing they were just getting closer.

"Do you…" Jay hesitated, "Like when I, you know, touch you and stuff?" he asked, "I mean, like, cuddling," he clarified entirely unnecessarily, his face red. 

Cole couldn't help but snicker at the implication Jay was trying to avoid, he wouldn't've thought it otherwise. 

"Hey, don't laugh at me!" 

"Sorry, sorry," Cole said, still smiling, "And yeah, I'd stop you if I didn't. Why are you even asking?" 

"It's just, you know, you never start it. I was kind of wondering if you were just tolerating it?" Jay scratched the back of his head sheepishly. 

"Of course not! It's just, well, it's kind of awkward don't you think?" 

Something flashed across Jay's face, "Is it?" he asked, his gaze far too pointed for Cole's liking. He felt pinned under it. How was he supposed to answer that?? 

"I- i mean, it's, you know-" he floundered. He couldn't come up with anything to say and Jay wasn't supplying him an out. 

After just slightly too long of a silence, "Didn't know you felt that way, Brookstone." 

Cole couldn’t find a way to speak as he watched Jay leave. He wanted to reach out, grab his arm, but-  _ it’s kind of awkward, don’t you think? _

  
  


Jay didn’t touch Cole anymore after that; he always gave him a few inches of space at least. And Cole felt like he was burning inside, with so many thoughts and words and feelings that he didn’t know how to express. Jay was still just as cuddly with Kai and Zane, so his treatment of Cole stuck out like a sore thumb. It didn't feel malicious, but it was clearly deliberate. He knew Jay noticed the way he stared at him now, when they were in a room together. Everybody did. Kai even commented on it one afternoon as they left the common space together, "Cole are you, like, good? Did something happen between you and Jay?" 

He didn't know how to answer, "It's- maybe? I dunno." and they both left it at that. 

But as much as Cole wanted to fix this he wasn't sure how to go about it. Explaining himself might be the first step but he didn't even understand what he meant or how he was feeling so how was he supposed to tell Jay! He definitely messed up any chance of going back to how things were. 

  
  


A week later, the four of them had finished a small project- setting up a Kai-Powered Hot Tub just outside the monastery. Perfect for relaxing and hanging out after a day of training. Of course there’d already been shenanigans- splashing each other, pushing each other underwater, Kai and Zane both messed with the temperature just because- but that was pretty much out of their systems now. They were all just sitting in the water now, talking. It was warm and pleasant. Being together like this felt like home. Cole was distinctly, distractingly aware of the few inches of space between his left arm and Jay’s right. The way he always was before. It had been driving him mad for the past few weeks and yet... He wanted it to be different this time. He wanted to fix things. Maybe this was the time to do it. He leaned over, initiating for the first time, casual contact without a reason. Just to be close. Just because he wanted to. Jay leaned into the contact a little bit, a smile cracking across his face, and Cole smiled too. 

After that, the four of them went back to the monastery to dry off and get ready to wind down for the night. Cole motioned for Jay to follow him to his room. They both dried off, but neither bothered to get properly dressed, opting to stay in swim trunks. They hung out for a little longer, playing video games, talking about comic books- all with Cole’s arm around Jay’s shoulders. It felt good, being able to do this again. He’d missed it. After a particularly heated argument about the newest Fritz Donnegan movie, Cole flopped down onto his bed, “I can’t  _ believe _ you, that part actually sucked so much!” 

“Well  _ I  _ thought it was romantic.” Jay defended. After a short moment of silence, he walked over and laid on top of Cole. 

It took Cole by surprise, “Uh-” 

Jay propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at Cole, “Is this- okay? Is it too much?”

Cole shook his head, realizing that it was okay, actually. He smiled as Jay lowered himself back down and nuzzled into his neck. Every point of contact felt almost like sparks- but not in a bad way. He was just so aware of it all. Cole put an arm over Jay.    
“Are you sure?” Jay asked again after a moment, “It’s not- like, awkward or anything?” 

“I’m sure,” Cole said, “I- It’s good.”

“You’re warm,” Jay said softly, and Cole could hear the smile in his voice. “It’s nice.”

“You only think I’m warm because you’re freezing!” Cole countered, “That’s what you get for being a beanpole.” He pulled his blanket over the two of them, “Is that a little better?”

Jay’s voice was barely a breath, “Yeah.” 

For a while, it was silent, and Cole was sure Jay had fallen asleep. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like he could. At least not laying on his back like this. He tried to shift without disturbing Jay but, “Mm? Everything okay Brookstone?” 

“Shoot, did I wake you?” Cole asked.

“Nah, I’ve been awake.”

“Bullshit, you were fast asleep.”

“I wasn’t!” Jay protested, “I was just… listening to you breathe.” 

“Oh.” he wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Well, I need you to move so I can lay on my side instead.”

Jay adjusted himself, and when Cole rolled onto his side he realized with a start that he was now face to face with Jay, in probably the most intimate and vulnerable way they’d ever been. He saw the blush on Jay’s cheeks before he realized the heat in his own.

“Would,” Jay started, hesitantly, “Would it be weird if I kissed you?” 

For some reason he wasn’t surprised, “Probably,” he said, truthfully. 

Jay looked down, but neither of them moved. 

Cole weighed his options. After a few moments he added, “Do you want to anyway?” 

Jay looked up, “Yeah,” he said, “I do.” He tilted his chin up so his lips met Cole’s. It was really just a peck, and honestly a little awkward with the angle they were at, the mattress kind of in the way.

After a moment, Cole just laughed, “I can’t believe we were just making a big deal about  _ that _ like. It’s just. That!” 

Jay chuckled too, “It was so awkward for like no reason at all!” 

“Seems kinda weird that people make such a big deal about- what, just putting lips together?” 

“Haha, yeah.” The tension was broken. Not that it had been tense, but really they had just been giving so much weight to the intimacy and unfamiliarity of the situation and now it just felt so silly, and so comfortable. “Wanna do it again?” Jay asked, smiling. 

“Yeah,” Cole said, “I do,” mirroring Jay’s response from earlier. This time he leaned in, propping himself up on his elbow to keep the pillows from getting in their way, putting a hand on the other side of Jay’s head to stabilize himself. Kissing in general felt like such a weird concept to Cole, and yet… Jay’s lips were soft and warm, and he liked the way they felt against his. He lingered a moment longer than Jay did, hovering just barely above him when he pulled away. 

Jay reached a hand up, tangling his fingers in Cole’s hair as he moved to cradle the back of his head. He gently tugged Cole back down, his lips parting as they met this time. Cole followed suit, tilting his head a little more so they’d fit together better and- oh, this was an  _ entirely _ different experience from the pecks they’d done before. He didn’t get much time to soak it in though, because- “Ow! Hey!” 

“Sorry!” Jay said, “I didn’t mean to shock you! FSM I can’t believe I just did that-” 

Cole chuckled, “It’s okay.” He leaned down again, but this time to pepper kisses all over Jay’s face. Forehead, cheeks, nose, jawline, and as many freckles as he could count. 

“Hey- Hey! That’s cheating!” Jay protested, squirming a little under Cole, “What am I supposed to do!”    
“Get kissed,” Cole said with a smirk. 

Jay wiped that smirk off his face when he flipped them over, “N-now I- can. um,” but he quickly faltered when he got too flustered to figure out how to be cool. 

Cole’s own feelings were threatening to do the same to him and they kind of just stared at each other for a moment, but eventually he just laughed, “FSM dude, I can’t believe you.” 

Jay collapsed onto Cole’s chest, “Uggggghhhhhhh. Just leave me here to die.”

Cole nudged Jay off to the side, “Laying on top of me? No way! Go die in your own bed!” 

“Mm, it is getting pretty late,” Jay said, propping himself up, “Maybe I should.”

“It was late when we started doing this,” Cole said, “But… do you  _ want _ to leave?”   


Jay looked at him, “Do you want me to?” 

“I asked you first.” Cole said stubbornly.    


“Heh, fine,” Jay smiled, “No, I kinda wanna stay here. If that’s okay with you.”    


“Yeah, Cole said, “It’s okay.”    


They settled back into each other’s arms.

Cole was almost asleep when Jay spoke up, “So… what are we now?” he asked.

Cole wasn’t sure how to respond, “I- I don’t know,” he admitted, “Is that okay?”

“...yeah,” but Jay sounded unsure. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, like- stir up feelings like this or,” he turned his head to bury his face in the pillow, “Uuugh I don’t know.” 

“No,” Jay said, moving his arm to Cole’s shoulder, “It’s okay. You didn’t-” he sighed, “Heh, you didn’t bring up anything that wasn’t already there.” 

“Oh…” he said softly. “How long-”

“Since we met.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.”

What more could even be said now? It’s not like Cole was any closer to figuring out how to put words to the way he was feeling than he was 10 seconds ago.

“Do you want me to leave, now?” Jay asked softly.

“Do you want to leave?” he responded.

“Hey,” Jay said, “I asked you first.”

“No,” Cole said.

“Me neither,” Jay said. 

“Then I guess it’s settled.”

“Yeah,” Jay said, “...will you tell me when you do know, what you want from this?”

“It won’t be tonight,” Cole warned, “But, yeah, of course,” he said softly, “Plus, I do already know at least some of what I want from this.” 

“Yeah?”

“What we’ve been doing, already.” He cupped Jay’s cheek in his hand, “The cuddles, the kisses, the hanging out- it’s all good. I want to keep doing it. I just don’t… know what to call it yet.”

“Oh, okay. I wanna keep doing that stuff too,” he smiled. “We can go slow if you need to.”

“Thank you,” he said gently. “Now, can we please get some sleep?”

Jay giggled, “Yeah okay. It really is late huh.” 

“If we get up late we’re gonna get so much crap from Kai about it.”

“FSM he’s gonna be insufferable!” He was still smiling anyway, “So, you know, no change.”

Cole laughed, “Yeah. Now go to  _ sleep. _ ”

“G’night Cole. Sleep well. Have good dreams. Don’t let the bedbugs bite. If I wake up first I’ll wake you up too so-”

“Shut  _ up! _ ” but Cole was smiling despite himself, and he knew Jay could see it.

“Yeah yeah, okay, fine.”

“You just kept talking. Stop that. Don’t respond to this.” 

Cole could see the physical effort it took Jay to not reply and once again he was struck with the incredible feeling of being Home. 

They both slept soundly that night. Too soundly. It was almost noon when they woke up. 

_ “Oh man, Master Wu is gonna kill us!” _

But they both laughed anyway. It was worth it, somehow. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is almost entirely based on my real experiences and feelings.   
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
